Spider-Man Musical Slightly Better Than Sarah Palin
By Rachel Hwang Here’s yet another example of the entertainment industry not knowing when to quit. Spider-Man comics? Awesome. Spider-Man movies? Also awesome. Spider-Man action figures, birthday...
View ArticleTech Nerds Are Gettin’ Your Girl Outta Her Bra
By Rachel Hwang Here is some solid proof that the future will be run by geeks. You’ve got problems? Technology has solutions. And let’s face it, the cutting edge of the technological frontier is ruled...
View ArticleBristol Palin’s Dancing Makes People Shoot Things
By Stephanie McKinny True, most people seemed to think Bristol Palin’s moves on Dancing With the Stars were a little lacking, but just how bad were they, really? I don’t watch that show. So, I’ll just...
View Article10 Signs That America Is Climbing Out Of The Shitter…Kinda
By Stephanie McKinny We’ve been seeing, feeling and hearing about the effects of the economy for what seems like forever now, but there are some (probably less than credible) signs that things may be...
View ArticleFlavor Flav=New Colonel Sanders?
By Stephanie McKinny Why the hell is Flavor Flav in the news? Is he starring in Flavor of Love #1489635? Nope. Think greasier – if you can. That’s right, Flav has opened his own fried chicken...
View ArticleGirl Scout Cookies Inspire Murderous Rage
By Stephanie McKinny There are three parts to this story. They’re escalating parts; the degrees of WTF heighten gradually. Here’s the first part: A Florida woman named Hersha Howard – WHY does...
View ArticleJustin Timberlake Is Dumb, Maybe Making New Music
By Stephanie McKinny Now, before you all erupt in maddening outrage, or send us hate mail out the ass, know that those are his words – not ours. That’s right – when asked if he uses the ever popular...
View ArticlePauly Shore Is Not Dead
By Brian Leak If you don’t know who Pauly Shore is, then you were probably already 90-years-old by the late ’80s or you’re like 9-years-old now. Even then, you’ve probably heard him referenced or...
View ArticleBeebs Says Fuck You
By Neal West I will freely admit that I LOVE to clown on Justin Bieber. I don’t have anything against him personally, I don’t hate his music, and of all the “teen stars” of this era, he’s definitely...
View ArticleIndie Rock In A Galaxy Far, Far Away
By Rachel Hwang Whoa. Soulful acoustic indie music and Star Wars? This beauty is a music video to “Love and Leave,” a new single from up and coming band Scattered Trees, first premiered on Boing Boing....
View ArticleScrew Mario. Get Wasted.
Rachel Hwang A sure fire way to get people to do something is to make it into a game. This is why babysitters everywhere have developed the “let’s see who can be quiet the longest” game, or if you’re...
View ArticleMike Myers: Apparently Not Gay
By Nicole Mike Myers married someone…I totally thought he was gay…and yeah, yeah, I know he had that wife he was with for years, but she was ugly and fat and I just figured she was a bff. This one is...
View ArticlePaula Abdul=Bonkers
By Stephanie McKinny Listen, I’m getting pretty sick and tired of nutjobs in Hollywood. I lie – they provide me with fodder. But seriously, WTF is wrong with Paula Abdul? This bitch is clearly on...
View ArticleNew Beef: Ne-Yo VS Snooki
By Stephanie McKinny Did you know that Snooki got the cover of Rolling Stone? Ne-Yo does, and he’s pissed about it. After all, he dances on air, has the voice of an angel – hell, he’s the black Michael...
View ArticleSammy Hagar Has Lost His Damn Mind
By Stephanie McKinny I’ve heard of some desperate moves to schlep your new crap, but Sammy Hagar takes the friggin’ cake. While out and about promoting his new book, Hagar stopped to talk with poor...
View ArticleWhoopi Goldberg Was Stoned Off Her Ass At The Oscars
By Stephanie McKinny Remember that little movie Ghost? Well, believe it or not, Whoopi Goldberg won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in the film. As if that’s not the surprising part,...
View ArticleBret Michaels Is Suing The Tony Awards
By Stephanie McKinny Remember that time when Bret Michaels was almost decapitated by a stage prop during his performance at the Tony Awards, back in 2009? I kinda do. And I remember thinking it was...
View ArticleKaty Perry Gets Booed Because Of Justin Bieber
By Stephanie McKinny You either love Justin Bieber or you hate the little shit’s guts – there is no in-between. He annoys me, because children annoy me, and when children and tweens alike start to take...
View ArticleParis Hilton: Still Alive, Still Annoying
By Stephanie McKinny I find this bitch to be completely deplorable. She’s the kind of chick you would love to throw onto the track during a roller derby bout. She’s so disgusting that if I was a guy,...
View ArticleSnoop Dogg + Charlie Sheen= Apocalypse
By Stephanie McKinny There’s been some rumors going around for the past week or so about them hanging out, and even about them working together, but it can’t be true… can it?! Well hold on to your...
View ArticleNow You Can F*%# Miley Cyrus
By Stephanie McKinny Calling all nerds, borderline pedophiles, and hopeless cases: there is now a Miley Cyrus blow-up doll for all your gross, creepy pleasure. And apparently there are a lot of you...
View ArticleDolly Parton Wants To Hook Up With Lady Gaga
Ed. Note: This picture seemed to sum up this entire story. By Stephanie McKinny I like Lady Gaga, fashion Tourette’s and all. But I happen to LOVE Dolly Parton; she’s like a little country bobble-head...
View ArticleHappy 4/20, Bra!
By Eric Wendt April 20th is synonymous with cannabis culture. Everyone and their kids knows it. Well, maybe not everyone, but their kids definitely know it. I could talk about the history of the...
View ArticleCars, Vibrators, Crack Pipes, LULZ
By Stephanie McKinny Gross. I guess I’ll just start from the beginning: There was this, erm… lady in Cincinnati who decided to go for a drive. Only, it must not have been Colondra Hamilton’s lucky day,...
View ArticleTrump Is A Chump
By Stephanie McKinny Donald Trump has a big mouth. And a comb-over… but that’s beside the point. You’re probably well aware of a group of petty jackasses who continuously demand to see the President’s...
View ArticleEngland Has Human Garbage Too
By Eric Wendt Watching Jersey Shore is like watching a train wreck (if the train in question was transporting hair gel and AIDs). Luckily for the rest of the world, America isn’t the only country...
View ArticleAvril Lavigne Sucks, Chrissy Teigen Is Great
By Stephanie McKinny It used to just be her music that people couldn’t stand. Nah, scratch that – people probably always hated her too. But this is the first time that she’s made someone wish they were...
View ArticleHaving Tits and Liking Spider-Man Isn’t Shocking Anymore
(Ed. Note: The above girl isn’t super hot, per se, but yes, I would have sex with her while listening to her talk about how different she is for liking Star Wars.) By Zooey Mae One of the biggest...
View ArticleFlavor Flav Thinks He Gives Cops Cred
By Stephanie McKinny Don’t expect awesome news today. That was Sunday. And since I can’t track down the devil, chop off his head and mount it on the flagpole of the White House – I would do it for you...
View ArticleMiley Cyrus: Great Dancer Or Greatest Dancer?
By Eric Wendt Remember the way Elaine would dance on Seinfeld? I always found it funny but unvbelievable. No one could dance that badly (and cluelessly), right? WRONG! Once again Miley Cyrus has turned...
View ArticleApparently Dentists Are Magic Now
By Eric Wendt I’ve never liked going to the dentist. The idea of someone putting me under then poking around in my mouth fills me with dread (now I know how my date felt on prom night). But I never...
View ArticleTrump Stepped Down: Thank God
By Joshua Stacy Well, I think a vast majority of the nation can now breathe a sigh of relief—Donald Trump has officially announced he will not be running for President of these United States. Does this...
View ArticleOchocinco Lasts 1.5 Seconds (That’s What She Said)
By Joshua Stacy This past weekend Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco continued his ridiculous antics by attempting to ride a bull (real, not mechanical) at the Lucas Oil Invitational in Duluth, GA....
View ArticleSexy Time In 3D
By Cory Clark This week in “Yeah, I was wondering when that was gonna happen” news: that 3D sex movie you’ve probably never heard of, aptly titled 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstacy, has finally landed a...
View ArticleTracy Morgan Is An Idiot
By Sleazus Christ I like Tracy Morgan. I think he’s a weird, demented, funny motherfucker. 30 Rock isn’t my favorite show or anything, but Morgan always cracks me up on it (Alec Baldwin is still...
View ArticleThe Vegan Black Metal Chef
By Joshua Stacy In what might be the only way to successfully sale it to Americans, Brian Manowitz has taken full advantage of the tools at his disposal (yay intarwebz!) and managed to make vegan...
View ArticleIn Soviet Russia Whales Get The Girls
By Patrick Salvatierra A controversial experiment conducted in the sub-arctic region of Murmansk, Russia to determine if scientists could convince a woman to willingly take off her clothes for them has...
View ArticleAaron Carter Says Michael Jackson Gave Him Cocaine
By Sleazus Christ Remember Aaron Carter? He was the little rapping brother of Nick Carter. Oh, you don’t remember Nick Carter? He was the blonde guy in Backstreet Boys. Here, maybe this will refresh...
View ArticleTattoo School Is An Abomination
By Zooey Mae From the network that has brought us such gems as Toddlers and Tiaras and Jon and Kate Plus Eight comes a reality show that shows us there really is no low to which TLC will not sink....
View ArticleTop 10 Worst Adam Sandler Flicks
By Sleazus Christ If you haven’t seen the cinematic abortion that is the trailer for Adam Sandler’s Jack & Jill, consider yourself lucky. It’s just another reminder that the once brilliant...
View ArticleChildren’s Books Are For Adults, Silly
By Sleazus Christ The Dinosaurs Are Dead is in the same vein as Go the Fuck to Sleep; a children’s book made for adults. Written by Stephen Linquist and Travis Linquist, with awesome illustrations by...
View ArticleThe ’90s Are All That
By Lesley Matthews In response to an overwhelming demand for television from the ‘90s, this fall Nickelodeon will launch a block of nighttime programming called “The Nineties Are All That.” This will...
View ArticleBrooke Hogan Got Naked For Her Dad’s B-Day
By Olivia Guevara Beautiful, talented, and utterly intelligent young starlet Brooke Hogan was kind enough to escort her father (the marvel that is Hulk Hogan) to the unveiling of a nude art exhibit in...
View ArticleDiego’s Umbrella Could Totally Take Gogol Bordello In A Fight
By Zooey Mae Diego’s Umbrella, the self-designated “Ambassadors of Gypsy Rock,” are fresh off their debut at San Francisco’s Outside Lands Music Festival. Described as a vibrant mix of Eastern European...
View ArticleYour Penis Is Safe…For Cutting
By Indus Guise In yet another of California’s meaningless cockfights, the ability for local governments to ban circumcisions ended up on the chopping block. Governor Jerry Brown has just signed a bill...
View ArticleInside the Mind of Steven Wright
by Jacob Sprecher It’s hard not to be overly flattering when talking about somebody that’s a legitimate giant in their field, somebody that’s been there and back, done it all and then some. Steven...
View Article“Will You Shut Up?!” An Interview with Jon Lovitz
When I was a kid my obsession with Saturday Night Live bordered on the unhealthy. In addition to watching every new episode every weekend and collecting all the Best Of’s on VHS, I had my grandmother...
View ArticleNeil Hamburger: Sex Machine
By Steve Swim America’s Funnyman is here to help you forget about your miserable lives. If you’re not familiar with Neil Hamburger, now’s your chance to fall in love (or hate) with the singular...
View ArticleBrendon Small: Metal Mastermind
By Brian Leak Jack of all trades. Renaissance man. Call it what you want, he’s a fucking workaholic. Brendon Small is the mastermind behind your favorite animated band, Dethklok, as well as the voice...
View ArticlePinching A Loaf At The Bar
by Jacob Sprecher If you’ve ever been drinking at the Banshee downtown—or rather, if you’ve ever had many drinks at the Banshee downtown—you’ll have no doubt used the bathroom. Inside those bathrooms,...
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